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Many people say, “𝗜 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗺𝘆 𝗰𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘃𝗮𝗹𝘂𝗲𝘀,” yet their daily life tells a different story. This episode with executive coach and leadership trainer Dennis Larsson goes right into that gap between knowing and truly living your values. If you’ve ever felt misaligned, stuck, or like you’re “doing all the right things” but still not at peace, this conversation is for you.

Knowing vs. Living Your Values

Dennis and I explored a common pattern: people can list a few values, but challenging to embody them in real decisions and relationships. Many can name one or two, but when asked for five clear values, things get vague or uncertain, and that shows up as confusion in life and work.​

  • We often “know” our values in our heads, but don’t prioritize them in our schedule and choices.
  • That gap creates frustration, anxiety, and the sense that we’re not living our truth, even if life looks “𝘀𝘂𝗰𝗰𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗳𝘂𝗹” from the outside.
The Value Triangle: Personal, Relational, Professional

Dennis shared a powerful framework he first learned during a very difficult season of his life—his therapist drew a triangle and named three key areas: personal, relationships, and professional. He later realized that when these three areas are not aligned, life feels heavy and confusing.​

  • For years, he lived fully in the “𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗳𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹” corner, deeply embodying IKEA’s corporate values while ignoring his own personal and relationship values.​
  • After a painful crash in his 40s, therapy, and years of self-reflection, he began to discover and define his own five core values across all three areas of life.
Dennis’ Five Core Values (and Why They Matter)

It took Dennis around seven to eight years to land on his five core values: joy, courage, care, curiosity, and simplicity. Each value is not just a word; it has a personal definition that guides his decisions.​

  • 𝗝𝗼𝘆: Creating environments where people thrive and feel meaning in what they do, across personal life, relationships, and work.​
  • 𝗖𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗲, 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲, 𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗼𝘀𝗶𝘁𝘆, 𝘀𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗶𝘁𝘆: Together, these values help him take bold decisions, care for himself and others, stay open to learning, and simplify what truly matters.

He also shared how ignoring these values—for example, saying yes to work only for the money—led to anxiety, sleepless nights, and emotional “𝘁𝘀𝘂𝗻𝗮𝗺𝗶𝘀” because he was not acting in alignment with what matters most to him.

TIME STAMPS:
00:00 – Welcome and Personal Value Realization
02:29 – Defining Personal Core Values
09:23 – The Gap Between Knowing and Living Values
15:32 – Authentic Leadership and Value Alignment
26:00 – The Value Triangle Assessment Tool
41:00 – Navigating Challenges and Maintaining Values
58:00 – The Importance of Inner Alignment and Future Focus

Authentic Leadership: Living by Design, Not by Default

We also talked about authentic leadership and how it starts with conscious awareness of your core values, not just in theory but in action. Dennis calls it “𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙗𝙮 𝙙𝙚𝙨𝙞𝙜𝙣, 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙗𝙮 𝙙𝙚𝙛𝙖𝙪𝙡𝙩”—choosing when to honor a value fully, when you might temporarily “𝗽𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲” one for a conscious reason, and being honest with yourself in the process.​

  • When you live in line with your values, there is less anxiety and more inner peace, even when life is challenging.​
  • When you ignore or betray your values—especially for money, status, or approval—your body and emotions will let you know something is off.
The Value Triangle Assessment

Dennis created the Value Triangle Assessment to help people move from unclear ideas about values to a clear, personalized set of five core values. The process invites you to:​

  • Start with your 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 values first, then 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽, then 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗳𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹—on purpose, so you don’t hide behind your work identity.​
  • Generate your own words (not pick from a fixed list), then rank them to see what truly comes first for you.​

The result is a tailored report with your five core values and your own definitions, supporting you to live more intentionally in all areas of life.

Deep Reflection for You

If you’re starting to feel misaligned, overwhelmed, or “off,” this might be your invitation to pause and look at your values. Here are some questions to journal on:​

  • What do “values” actually mean to me in my everyday life?​
  • What are five things I say I value—and how do they show up (or not) in my calendar and decisions?
  • Where do I feel the biggest gap between what I say I value and how I live, love, or work?

Remember, there is no right or wrong set of core values. What matters is that they are honest for you, and that you give yourself the time, space, and compassion to discover and live them—even if it takes years, as it did for Dennis.​

If this episode speaks to you, share it with someone who is also on the path of living more aligned, authentic, and value-driven. Little by little, you are allowed to design a life that truly reflects who you are.

𝗪𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽 𝗴𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗰𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗼𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘃𝗮𝗹𝘂𝗲𝘀? 𝗨𝘀𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝗱𝗲 𝗘𝗠𝗣𝗢𝗪𝗘𝗥𝟭𝟱 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝟭𝟱% 𝗼𝗳𝗳 𝗗𝗲𝗻𝗻𝗶𝘀 𝗟𝗮𝗿𝘀𝘀𝗼𝗻’𝘀 𝗩𝗮𝗹𝘂𝗲 𝗧𝗿𝗶𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗹𝗲 𝗔𝘀𝘀𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗹 𝗙𝗲𝗯 𝟮𝟱, 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟲.

 

 

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